Self Discovery

‘When I discover who I am, I’ll be free’ – Ralph Ellison

Many people have continually lived their lives in bondage. They travel their lives’ journey without a life map. So, their lives seem to be in circles. They aren't going anywhere.
They don’t know who they are or what their purposes are. Neither do they know where they are nor where they are heading. And until they discover their life purpose, they won’t be free
Is your life on track just the way you want it, or would you rather find yourself a different story? Have you ever asked yourself how you got here?

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” – C.G Jung

What is Self Discovery?

Self discovery is the act or process of gaining knowledge or understanding of your abilities, characters and feelings.

Steps to Self Discovery

· Face your fears
· Discover your strengths
· Find your life purpose

Facing Your Fears

Granted, getting a clearer view of your life might be discomforting, especially as you might discover unpleasant things about yourself. But trust me, you have more to gain compared to these vices

You need to confront your emotional weaknesses. Confront whatever feeling of low self worth you might be carrying. If you don’t, you risk your relationship with loved ones and colleagues.

“Sometimes, you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person” – Gerard Way

Uncovering negative thoughts will help rid the negativities imprinted in your mind for ages. These negative thoughts have been the obstacles to your inner growth. When eradicated, you realize that you are happy and free.

Discover your strengths

Self discovery isn't only about uncovering your weaknesses, it’s also about bringing afore your strengths and abilities. As you become aware of where your strengths lie, you break off your weaknesses gradually.

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your inner strength, and say ‘I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m going to be myself.” – Mariah Carey

Ask yourself, ‘what do I truly desire to be, do or have? What am I compelled to do? Finding out what makes your heart sing and acknowledge yourself for your uniqueness. This will give you the strength to leap from your comfort zone.

Finding your life purpose

The purpose of life is a life of purpose’ – Robert Byrne

Without a purpose and direction, I told you, your life is going to be in circles, more like a roller-coaster. Just when you think you are making progress, you find yourself at the starting point again. Your life is going to be like a vessel going nowhere just floating on high sea.

Finding your life purpose begins with discovering what captivates your heart and runs like a thread that weaves your destiny into a beautiful tapestry. It is what you want to experience, understand or learn from this life. Discovering these things creates a lifetime of meaning joy, clarity and centeredness, a life of purpose.

Do you really need to find it?

Yes!

Do you want to find yourself lost in life? If you do not want to look back sometime, somewhere in your life, filled with regret, there is no better time to find your purpose than now.

Having a clear idea of your life purpose keeps you motivated, focused and able to tap into a pool of energy when you need to face challenges. You don’t just guess when faced with making life decisions. You understand your strengths and how to apply them to yield the best results

Once again I would say, when you discover who you truly are, you’d be free.

So go on, Discover who you truly are and be free!

If Eventually, You Miss Your Way, Do not Get Lost

Picture yourself planning on embarking a journey to a place you have never been. To avoid getting lost, it is only natural to make inquiries and ask for directions.

However, some paths are so twisted, it is almost impossible not picking the wrong way.  In this case, if you eventually miss your way, do not get lost. That is a rule, a rule of life.

In life, we are prone to mistakes. Matters of fact, we always do. That is what defines us. That is what makes us humans, imperfect humans.

Inasmuch as we accept our imperfection, we do not want to see it as an excuse for failure. You are not alone on this journey. Many have successfully traveled

that path before, many have failed. However, you choose what to do with the ball, while it is still in your court.

Dale Carnegie said “the successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way”

While you still breathe existence, you are responsible for whatever you make of life. Whatever slip, whatever correction and definitely, whatever failure. You are responsible for it all. Need I remind you?

When you slip or fall, never you stay aground. It is okay to make mistakes, but do not stay a failure.

Some of the best lessons we learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future – Dale turner

So learn from your mistakes and move on to the next challenge or phase of your life journey.

Types of mistake

Before traveling to your unknown destination, you need to prepare yourself as to what might come your way, I mean obstacles. Same way in this journey of life, you should acquaint yourself with these inescapable obstacles.

This takes us to the types of mistakes we make in life. Namely,

·         Insignificant or re-traceable mistakes

·         Significant or fatal mistakes

 Insignificant mistakes

When you realize that you are treading a wrong path, what do you do? You retrace your step and try to find the right way while you still can. That is what I meant by insignificant mistakes.

These are mistakes that are somewhat non-fatal. You can easily make corrections.

But what if you can’t handle them?

What if it is too late?

Significant or fatal

Well, there are no mistakes that are not re-traceable. Except of course, you aren't breathing anymore. But sometimes, you have gone too far, a turnaround would only mean another mistake.

In this case you need to keep moving, looking out for the next available exit route. And if there is none, create one.

Break protocols, override barriers. Survival is not an option; it is the only choice you've got. So whatever the cost, survive!

"Success seem to work with action, successful people make mistakes, but they keep moving - Conrad Hilton

But you can avoid making these fatal mistakes. How?

Check out these quotes from these men:

‘At the center of your being, you have the answer, you know who you are and you know what you want’ – Lao Tzu

‘Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom’ - Aristotle

‘Mistakes are the portals of discovery’ - James Joyce

That takes us to the next topic, Self-discovery, which is the one and almost only way to avoid life’s mistakes

What is Self-discovery?

Read The Article, Self-Discovery

You Must Let Go Of The Life You Planned To Accept The One That Is Awaiting You

In life, sometimes you create yourself, sometimes you find yourself. Whichever the case, your effort and determinations are hardly not required.

I have not seen anyone successful who has nothing to say about his past.

Matter of fact, life is like a huddle race. If you aren't jumping huddles, then you have not started living.

Most people have a perfectly planned life for themselves. That is incredible because if these plans are discreetly followed, success is expected. Nobody has ever made it in life without a life plan. Perfectly set life plans or goals serve as a guide to a successful life. My point is: No goals no success, simple!

But what if the life you planned isn't working? In that case, you must be ready to accept the one that is waiting for you. You must be ready to abandon whatever goals you must have had.

True, persistence and patience are essential qualities of a goal oriented individual. But believe me, if those qualities are not modestly exhibited, you become unaware of when to switch plans

Wouldn't it be foolish to stick to a path mounted with roadblocks when you have alternatives?

Well, in life you can have alternatives and be blind to them. This is where self discovery comes afore.

Sometimes your life isn't meant to be the way you planned. When such happens, you must open your heart to change. Failure to do this, your life becomes full of hard works but no productivity.

Hard work and persistence doesn't take you any closer to your destination if you are treading the wrong path.

So dear friend, be quick to retrace your steps and be ready to change your paths. That is if you truly desire success in life

FEMINISM - Not What It Seems

Whoever says women are being oppressed as a gender should please get a seat and read this as I intend to trash a lot off issues out on this.

The society we live in embraces the idea that a man has to toil, laboring to feed and cater for his family. Even religion does not dispute that fact. So I quite agree

But I still cannot comprehend why a young unmarried woman would sit, relax and wait for a man to sweat his blood on her table. Not saying that a man cannot render favors to a woman not his wife, but favor it should be considered not responsibilities.

Even if married, it is still not fair for men having to be the only one who have to face the struggles of life all alone

Matters of fact, most women have resorted to gold digging, mining and extorting money and resources from men. Most of who have been emotionally blackmailed

Yes, Blackmail in that our generation of females have associated masculinity to being able to provide for a woman. Therefore they dole out praises only to men who are able to meet their needs

Now, what do the manipulated men get in return? Sexual gratification!

The feminine genders have manipulated men even to the extent of controlling their sexuality. So any man who needs his libido satisfied must bend to the wills of a woman

Even after having a well established system of masculine manipulation, these selfish power-driven women are on a quest for gender equality, an attempt to totally usurp men of their divinely appointed role of headship

While preaching gender equality, many fail to visualize the negative result of this ideology on men and in fact, the society. The more attempt to leverage the rights given to women, the lesser right a man has. It’s more like taking from one and giving to another. This has led to social disaster on our society

These include:

1. Decline in marriages. 

2. Abuse of sex 

3. Loss of jobs for men who are mostly disfavored where a woman is a competitor owing to their sexual power and manipulation

4. Sexual assaults against men ignored or taken less seriously compared to women 

5. Lack of sympathy for men in cases of domestic violence from women 

6. Girl child being more favored while a boy is ignored 

While I’m not being androcentric or trying to preach anti-feminism, I want to point out that it is the right of a man to assume headship without maltreatment of a woman.


So feminists should sit back and accept Divine arrangements putting off all forms of selfish ambitions. 

I drop my pen….

WAZOBIA

Wazobia stands for culture and unity. Wazobia stands for all of Nigeria

Wazobia is Nigeria.

Wazobia is a spirit. Wazobia is a unified history. Wazobia is a clarion call for the Nigerian man, woman and child.

Wazobia is us.

Wazobia is a tale of our struggle, of our journey through oppression and self-discovery.
Wazobia is harmony and tolerance in strife and hardship.

Wazobia is not self-taught, It is a stamp we get on our bottoms as newborns.

Wazobia is dedication, dedication in the face of uncertainty. Not necessarily knowing what the break of dawn brings.

But in wazobia we pray, in wazobia we understand that no matter what happens we steel ourselves to face it.

Wazobia is our bulwark; we sit upon it and stare at the confusion of others. Not saying we do not have our own confusion, but at least we understand it and by it we are fortified.

Wazobia is a high five on the local field, an argument erupting in the town hall, gossip at the hair salon, laughter at a ceremony. 

Wazobia is our religion. At least it used to be; sadly we are slowly losing the meaning and value of wazobia.


It is not being taught in our schools, preached in religious places, nor is it instilled in our homes anymore.

Wazobia is slowly losing its breath, and no one seems to care about resuscitating it. 
Wazobia has become selfish and bloodthirsty*. Situations of change are seen as strident.  

Its prowess is lost and replaced with meticulous cowardice.  Our unity is fast becoming negotiable. 

What holds us together now is the greedy quest and desire for power. And the only way we satiate is by using human shields.

Wazobia is lost in the despair it has chosen for itself, due to the misery in togetherness disguised as comfort.

A way forward for WaZoBia?

what is it? 

where is it? 

When is it?

The way forward??

The way forward??

When a past leader who sees himself as a candidate for the post of ‘future leader’, comes up from his lavished wealth and balance and opens his big, fat mouth advising the ‘distant future leaders’ to think about ways of making employment opportunities in a country that they don’t even know enough of, you can’t help but wonder

I once asked my elderly uncle to tell me of the Nigeria of before and he tells me of how streets names changed and how once colonial houses are not colonial houses anymore

 And I wonder, where is the tale? 
 Who really knows our history?

Enough of Biafran war tales, where is the story of how we broke out, how we stood our ground, of how we decided that enough was enough? 

Where is the story of how our wars made us stronger and together, made us unified with a common agenda, bringing the country forward?

 Where exactly is the tale? The tale of our failures and disappointments, of betrayal, of our regrets, of our mistakes, wrong turns, where are the Judas’ and scapegoats?
 

Where are the heroes, the villains, the onlookers, the brave, and the timid? Where are the names we can emulate or shudder at?

 Asides from a very popular book that absolutely not more than 10% of the Nigerian youth is much interested in or aware of, there is nothing else.

No one wants to go deep, divulge and ask questions. The ones that do, out of genuine bravery are punished for wanting to be too inquisitive, patriotic or proactive.

What will I have to tell my own children?

 Nothing!!!

It is for them majorly I do this. It is for the hopeful future I strive to make an attempt at a difference. An attempt to make a difference in nation that doesn’t embrace change.

It is in this same Nation that after staying in the university with hopes of fulfilling that which I had dreamed of, from the moment you could spell dream without hesitations, we are left with no choice but to embrace self-fulfillment.

 
And I ask again – if I had known I wanted to be a seamstress, would I have spent my time awaiting jamb results?

Awaiting post jamb results hoping I would pass the cut off for a certain course, go through a needlessly strenuous admission process, be lucky enough to get a place, spend the rest of my years getting closer to GOD just to ward off any evil, destiny crushing lecture only to decide to be an entrepreneur???????????????

 Where are our institutions?

A nation whose institutions only ever accept courses like economics, accounting, and any course of less importance…. The rest have to be from wealthy and privileged families, while the other rest have to be closer to GOD in hopes of a better future. 

LIFE- The Journey

 

I once sat down thinking about life, about its inequalities, about its differing circumstances. I realized that in life, there are different people with different stories and different life journey.

Life has often been compared to a race. But in my theory I tell you No, life is not a race. Neither is it a competition.  It is a journey with a task in view.

                                                     THE ILLUSTRATION

To illustrate, imagine a group of people were given different tasks. To complete these tasks, each person has to travel to his own given destination. Some of these destinations are short distanced, while others involve having to travel long distances.

Depending on the location, distance and circumstances, you might have to travel by air, land or water. My point is every task, every destination, every paths, requires a different tactical approach.

Now, would you start comparing yourself having a short distanced task to someone who has to travel continents to finish his task, choosing to travel by air? 

Or would you blame me for choosing to pick a taxi for a few kilometers task when others fly helicopters?

 NO. 

You choose whichever means to travel based on your resources and acceptance of the fact that you are on a different journey with a different task and circumstances.

YOUR DESTINATION IN LIFE

There is a simple logic to life. Here it iS:

• Your destiny determines your task, your task determines your destination. 

• Your destination determines the path through which you travel in life. 

• Your chosen path determines the circumstances and obstacles you meet on your life journey. 

• Your ability to withstand the pressures from these circumstances determines how far you’d go on the journey, if at all you will make it to your destination. 

• Reaching your destination determines the beginning and completion of your task. 

• Completing your task means you have fulfilled your destiny.

Many however have failed to realize these simple truths. That we humans travel on differing journeys of life. That we will find ourselves in different circumstances depending on our chosen path. The duration of our journey will depend on our destination. 

So many have been tempted to compare themselves with others who have seemingly gone beyond them. Who according to their beliefs have become better persons. You are mistaken. 

You see, however bad your situation may seem, nobody is better than you. You need to see that your journey is different. You are different. 

The fact that some individuals are successful does not necessarily mean that they are wiser. They are wherever they are probably because their journey is shorter, Or because their path is easier to navigate with lesser obstacles to face. 

It might also be that they have a clear understanding of their journey, therefore know how to tackle whatever it is they face in the course of their journey. If they were to be on the same journey as you, maybe you would be far ahead. 

But since life isn’t a competition, your path is different.

Never blame or look down on others who might appear misfortuned. You might be tempted to blame them for their situation. 

You think they are unserious and foolish? 

Ask yourself: if you were to be in their shoes, traveling on the same path, under the same circumstance, would you have gone any farther? 
Would you have done any better?  
Would you be on the same pace or even behind them?

Keep these in your mind. Hold it in your palm or wherever safe:

However slow the pace seem,. However long the distance appears, however un-overcomable the obstacles look, don’t be too quick to judge. Those who will get there will get there. Those who will fail will fail.

NO, LIFE IS NOT A RACE

In my theory, life is not a competition. Life is not a race either. In life, the only person you are in a competition with is that person inside you. You are on your own, separate from every other being. Even the ones to whom you are related.

The only thing that connects everyone of us is our feeling and emotion- the love, the disgust, the worry, the care.

However, in the real sense of it, you are on your own journey of life. In your own story. Every single page of this storybook is written about you. 

That is not to say that you cannot feature other people in your story. Even on some journeys, we cross paths. This is where loved ones come in. this is where other people come in too. But they come in only as features. As people who cross our path in our journey. That is all

.

Be careful while crossing paths. Guard against all forms of distractions and the urge to follow other people on their own journey. Don’t forget that we are all heading for a different destination.

So many people have been lost in their journey of life because they were busy comparing and contrasting competitively. They were busy trying to be like or better than others. They got too busy with the lives of others that they failed to notice the directions on their life maps. They weren't aware, however, when their path changed direction. So unconsciously, they left their path, abandoned their journey and continued on someone else’s journey. 

The outcome? 

They got lost in life!

You do not want to get lost in life, do you? 
More reason it is important you know and understand your life’s journey.

I would term this ‘Self Discovery.’ Feel free to call it whatever you feel like. 

Self discovery isn't just about understanding your life. It also means that you have your life map and compass. 

This tools  will help you know when your path changes direction so you do not get caught unawares and lead the wrong path especially the paths of others 

It Will Burn You!

After much persuasion, Segun handed a lit stick to him ‘just try it out, it’ll make you feel good’ he said 
Juwon stood motionless a second, staring at the cigarette in his hand. Caught in-between two choices. 

Would he give in to the snares of curiosity and peer pressure or would he stand his ground against being pushed to go contrary to his moral and religious standards? He took a deep breath off the “stick of death”, handed it over, simultaneously exhaling little of the smoke from his mouth and nose.

Segun who was amazed clapped his hands. ‘wow, that was awesome’ he said.


Juwon on the other hand enjoyed the sensation he felt and requested for another try which was met with favor. Before long, he finished two sticks of cigarettes. That was just the beginning of a new page in his life, a life of an addicted smoker.

Like Juwon, most people start smoking as teenagers and are addicted by the time they reach adulthood. If you ask around, it is a habit that is difficult to break. But the question is, why do people smoke?

Most young people smoke as a result of peer pressure. They want to fit in. they want to be acceptable to their friends. Some smoke just because they want to look mature. They see adults smoke, they also want to do same. While others venture into smoking to experience the excitement derived from experimenting with something that is considered forbidden by their parents or the society.

Adults smoke for other reasons which may include stress and pressures from work, or due to economic and personal problems. So smoke to gain energy or feel relaxed while going through hard times. Some people also smoke because it gives them pleasure. It just makes them feel good.

Whatever your Excuse for smoking is, careful consideration of its far reaching effects on your physical and mental wellbeing might prompt you to withdraw.

Consider these:

Smoking results in more deaths than the combinations of HIV, illegal drug use, alcohol use, vehicle and firearms related accidents altogether

It is harder for women who smoke to get pregnant and it can affect the baby’s health before and after birth

Smokers are more likely to develop heart diseases, stroke, lung cancer, and diabetes than nonsmokers
It affects the health of teeth causing tooth loss.

These health hazards might not strike you on paper but trust me, going through just one of these might be worse than hell.

Apart from your physical health, smoking also goes as far as affecting your mental wellbeing. Nicotine addiction has very interesting effects on day by day stress. Many smokers use cigarettes as a means of stress relief which is ironic as smoking causes much of the stress in the first place

This is the chemistry:

Nicotine stimulates the release of the chemical ‘dopamine’ in the brain. Dopamine is involved in triggering positive feelings. When you smoke, you temporarily increase your dopamine supply and that sweet sensation is felt. However, production of dopamine through smoking encourages the brain to switch off its own mechanism to produce the chemical. So in the long run, dopamine supply decreases.

There’s no smoker on earth who doesn't become irritable when they go without nicotine for hours unending. This anger causes them to be hurtful towards loved ones and strangers, act reckless or

even harm themselves. Before you know it results in stress, anxiety and worst of it, depression.

As you can see, smoking and nicotine addiction have far reaching effects on your mental and physical health. Would you rather give a short term pleasure in exchange for a long term suffering? This is More reason to break free. 

Though immediate withdrawal might be painful but it is worth a lifetime of stress, anxiety, depression and physical health hazards. 

Bite the bullet now and quit smoking, or IT WILL BURN YOU!

The Purpose Of Life

The purpose of life, oblivious to every being has left unfilled spaces on many questioning minds.

Oftentimes, I have sat and questioned my soul the purpose of its existence. Every successful answer however, gives rise to more questions. The why's, where's and how's do not seem to stop lingering as every attempt to know welcomes confusion.

If you can, draw your attention to how a great number of innocent humans ignorant of their future strive hard to make ends meet. 

While Fridays do not cease to see foot wears at the entrances of every mosque, Sundays do not fail to welcome multitudes to churches. Evidently, in addition to hard work, religion has a role to play in the race for a better life.

 Despite the faith, hard work and incessant prayers of goodwill, it is mind bugging and disturbing to see the number of people who still cannot afford a square meal, worse still, go hungry each day.

 Dare I say their prayers are not enough? 
 Don't  they work as hard as they should? 

But I see a group of people with little or no endeavor who still live in luxury. Modesty employed, quite a number of them are wealthy enough to feed a nation. Would it be justifiable if my big fat mouth pronounce God partial? Would it not amount to blasphemy? #hmmn... It is hard fathom nor explain the inequalities among sons of men

Many blame luck for whatever life throws at them, others destiny. Still a lot of misfortunes have been associated or blamed on the actions of some unknown forces, agents of darkness who as a result of some baseless grievances have decided to punish certain people by bringing them ill-luck. These innocent souls find themselves toiling for the most part, seeking answers to their puzzled life. Some get lucky and get freed from their bondage. However, luck never shines on others.